‘Understanding Grief’ Offered by O’Neill Healthcare Bay Village

A unique program designed to assist people through their darkest days has been launched by O’Neill Healthcare.

‘Understanding Grief’ was the topic of a Sept. 17 Lunch and Learn that brought dozens of guests to a program presented by Chaplain Tom Pussel of O’Neill Hospice.

Grief said Pussel, is the single most difficult subject to talk about in our society. “We are simply not prepared for a broken heart,” he said.

Chaplain Pussel is starting a Grief Recovery Method program through O’Neill Healthcare. At the Lunch and Learn, he discussed many of the myths that surround reactions to grief, including feelings that:

• We should not permit ourselves to feel bad,
• We can replace a loss with a new person, pet or activity,
• We have to grieve alone. “It simply doesn’t work,” said Pussel,
• Time heals all wounds. “Some hurts go so deep that 20, 30, 40 years later they are still there.”
• Stay busy. “The grief will still catch up on you.”
• You must be strong for others. “But what about YOUR grief? If you never teach your kids how to be sad, they will never know how to be happy.”

Short-term cover-ups people use to cope with grief include increased socializing, shopping, drinking, gambling, exercise, anything that allows you to get away from yourself. “But what you are running from and what you are looking for are the same thing!” says Pussel.

People around a griever tend to say the wrong thing, like “I know just how you’re feeling,” and “I’ve had the same experience.”

But, grief is a normal and natural reaction to loss. It is the feeling of reaching out for someone who’s been there for you only to find out when you need them one more time, they are not there! Grief comes from conflicting feelings caused by the end or change in a familiar pattern of behavior. Recovery is not easy, but neither is living a limited life!

“You can’t replace a person or the love – all relationships are unique,” says Pussel. “Words like, ‘I’m sorry, this must be really hard’, are the right thing to say. People experiencing grief don’t need to be fixed, they need to be heard and understood.”

Chaplain Tom Pussel is hosting an 8-week seminar on The Grief Recovery Method that makes it possible to begin to let go of loss and move forward. It provides partnerships and guidance to ensure that it happens. Program location is O’Neill Healthcare Bay Village, 605 Bradley Road, Bay Village, on Tuesday starting Oct. 1 – Nov. 19 from 7-9 p.m. Please phone (440) 328-8141 or email Chaplain@ONeillHC.com.