What Cooking? Don’t Ask! Nasty News from Westlake Police


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From the “That’s Just Nasty” file: Westlake Police report that at 2:16 p.m.  on Sept. 9, a Detroit Rd. gas station employee reported that a male (later identified  as a 24-year-old North Olmsted man) was heating up urine in the station’s microwave.


When confronted and sent packing posthaste, he claimed it was fake urine to be used to pass a pre-employment drug test at a nearby car dealership. He was stopped and detained by Rocky River Police on E. Melrose Drive until Westlake Police  arrived. Marijuana, a pipe, and rolling papers, as well as a fake urine kit were recovered from his car. The man was cited for Possession of both Marijuana and Drug Paraphernalia.


For those wondering about warming up real or fake tinkle, there is a black market in “clean” (read non-dope-user) urine to thwart employment or criminal justice drug-testing. One’s sample must be at body temperature for the test to be valid. One can also buy synthetic urine at head shops or online.


Bewitched and Bewildered


A Bassett Rd. man reported loaning his 1993 BMW to his friend of 4 months “Sabrina” (not the teenage witch) on Sept. 1. When she did not return it by Sept. 7, he came to Westlake Police Department for help. Should be simple enough, right? OK, what’s her last name? I don’t know. Where does she live? I don’t know. The victim has been to the suspect’s mom’s house, but didn’t know that address either. And she won’t answer or return his calls. What to do? Fortunately for him, relatives of the suspect gave him some info and Westlake identified her as a 35-year-old Elyria woman. Even better, Amherst PD had impounded the missing Beemer on Sept. 6 after arresting the driver. The suspect was a passenger. He was advised to go get his car while Westlake Police  sought a warrant for Unauthorized Use of a Motor Vehicle.


Fast Action


A 17-year-old Bay Village boy lost a shoe and his freedom on Sept. 7 after stealing alcoholic beverages from a Detroit Rd. gas station. He lost the shoe when running from the scene just after 10PM. A 17-year-old Cleveland boy who accompanied him and lied about why they went to the station and the identity of the third suspect was arrested for Obstructing Official Business. An 18-year-old Westlake man who drove the others to the scene, then left them behind and lied to investigating officers was arrested for Falsification. Both shoes were eventually recovered and placed into evidence.


More School Vandalism


A contractor working at the High School found damage to an excavator on Sept. 9. Dirt was put into the hydraulic system sometime in the preceding 5 days. No suspects.


Stupid is as Stupid Does


A 22-year-old Illinois man selling magazine subscriptions without a permit compounded his troubles on Sept. 9 at 4:31PM. Interestingly, he told the arresting officers that he was acting stupid (his words) in order to increase his sales. Readers will draw their own conclusions as to whether he was acting or not.  As he was being frisked, he ran into heavy Dover Center Rd. traffic, causing great consternation topassing motorists. To borrow liberally from that old chestnut “The Battle of New Orleans”, he “ran through the briars and he ran through the brambles and he ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn’t go”. Residents in the area did not care for his passage through their yards and called Westlake Police with his location and direction of travel. He was corralled on Balsam Dr. and charged with charged with Resisting Arrest, Inducing Panic, and Soliciting without a Permit.




$4000 worth of yard lighting was taken from an Excalibur Dr. home between 1A-6A on Sept. 10. No suspects.


The owner of a Center Ridge Rd. business took her dogs for a walk behind the store on Sept. 10 between 4-5pm. While she was away, $300 was taken from the unattended cash register. No suspects.


Four vehicles were entered in the Settlers Reserve area on the night of Sept. 10. Items taken include laptops,a camera, GPS units, Ipod, wallets and purses containing cash and credit cards, and personal papers. One of the vehicles had a window broken to gain entry; the others were unlocked.


An unknown Oliver Douglas wanna-be (you remember the Green Acres TV series) stole a yard tractor from a Detroit Rd. man’s shed sometime between Sept. 9-12. The vehicle was found in a neighboring yard after it had been used to knock down a fence.


Miscellaneous Mayhem


A 38-year-old Kilgour Dr. woman was arrested for Domestic Violence after a Sept. 12 incident. Both parties reported a heated argument over schooling and clothing for their 3 children. The 33-year-old husband had scratches on his face, neck, and left arm.


A bronze statue of a girl skipping rope (valued at $1000) was stolen from an Excalibur Dr. yard sometime on Sept. 11 or 12. No suspects.


Two locked lockers were entered at the YMCA on Sept. 12 between 9AM and 1:45PM. Credit cards were taken and used at North Olmsted retailers. A suspicious male in street clothes was seen watching TV in the locker room.


A laptop computer was taken from an unlocked company van while it was parked in a Willow Run driveway on the night of Sept. 12. The company is believed to have remotely rendered it inoperable; no suspects.


An employee of a Westchester Pkwy. nursing home had a credit card taken from her purse on Sept. 13 prior to 3PM. 3 charges totaling $540 were made at 2 locations; the investigation continues.


Two 17-year-old male Westlake students were found to be under the influence of alcohol at the High School football game on Sept. 13. Both admitted drinking at home before the game and will be filed on in Juvenile Court for underage alcohol offenses. They were turned over to parents or adult friends of their parents.


A patron’s purse was taken while she played a game at Dave and Busters on Sept. 14 around 12:15AM. It contained ID, cash, and credit cards. It was found there at 3:05PM that same day in a trash can, minus the cash.


A pane of glass was knocked out of a Detroit Rd. apartment house’s exterior door, most likely around 3 a.m. on Sept. 14. Several residents heard a commotion and saw another resident hitting the door with a suitcase; nobody called WPD at that time. The building mainemance man reported the damage at 8AM.

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